Bloodstains On The Looking Glass

A ribald old-timey revue, featuring the Scots Flying Monkey Battalion and Shakey Pervy Pete, the Inelegant Dinner Guest.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

If Ever I See You, Again

So, here's what happened. I threw a little tea party, nothing special, just a couple hundred of my closest friends. Kurt Busiek brought Krispy Kremes, and the entire writing staff of Vertigo brought heroin by the dumpster. We were using it to dust the lillies by end of day.

Mark Waid read aloud from a book of sonnets he'd written, all from the point of view of Flash villains. Many of us were too polite to mention that he'd forgotten his pants.

It was a bit of a shock to learn that Garth Ennis cheats at both croquet and Russian Roullette, and it was only his poor aim that prevented Robert Kirkman's untimely demise. A bit of a disappointment, as I'd been curious to see if he'd rise from the dead with a steadily increasing sales arc.

We were all pretty excited when Brian Bendis showed up, but it turned out that he'd come in error, thinking it was a Monster Truck Rally. A quick thinking Dan Slott pretended to be Truckenstein and that seemed to placate the confused and disoriented Bendis long enough for us to toss him in a sack and hang him from a pole. Later, shots were fired. Bendis is no one to mess with.

Tom Peyer came dressed as a Republican, but I think it was on accident, because when he finally looked at his shoes and his 'No Flip Floppers' lapel button, he spontaneously exploded, showering us all with rusty needles and used condoms, which the Image guys really seemed to enjoy.

There were trysts and liasons, of course, but I hate to talk behind people's back.

It seems to distract their rhythm.



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