Bloodstains On The Looking Glass

A ribald old-timey revue, featuring the Scots Flying Monkey Battalion and Shakey Pervy Pete, the Inelegant Dinner Guest.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Deleted Scene From Villains United #5

Here's a scene which the editor wisely made me delete. I was awful about it, but in retrospect, though it says some interesting things, I think he's right that it's too static for that point in the story. I'M SORRY, STEVE!


Full page panel, the Six, in formal civilian clothes (tuxes and gowns), exiting an off-Broadway theater. Catman and Ragdoll wear theirs fantastically (Ragdoll still has on his mask and wig), Deadshot is yanking at his collar in disgust, Cheshire wears a Chinese silken gown, and Scandal wears a stunning formal gown. Ragdoll has one arm on Parademon’s shoulder (his tux fits him poorly, by the way), who is overcome with the emotion of the musical. It’s night, and a bit windy, so hair and gowns are blowing with the wind a bit.

They’re walking out of a theater that’s just shown the musical, ‘CATS,’ which we want to hint at, but not convey blatantly. So perhaps, a bit of the poster or marquee, but not the full thing. Some other theater goers come out behind them, including a heavy-set woman wearing a leopard-skin stole around her shoulders.

DEADSHOT: Well, THAT was a complete DUMPLOAD.

TITLE AND CREDITS (Dale, it might be fun to put the credits on newspapers blowing by, and the theater posters, maybe?)


Gail Simone: Writer

Dale Eaglesham: Penciller

Wade VonGrawbadger: Inker

Jared K. Fletcher: Letterer

Sno-Cone: Colorist

Harvey Richards: Asst. Editor

Stephen Wacker: Editor


PANEL ONE: The ParaDemon, forlorn and sad, as a calm RagDoll tries to console him.

PARADEMON: But...but it was so SAD when the disgusting old hag cat is making that hideous noise about her happier past!

PARADEMON: Will she EVER be happy AGAIN, I ask you all?

RAGDOLL: there, there, little ParaDemon.

RAGDOLL: i was sad, too, but mainly for myself, having to sit

through it all.

PANEL TWO: Cheshire, hangs on Catman’s shoulder, as they walk.

CHESHIRE: Did the daddy-to-be enjoy the show?

CATMAN: Don’t say that--it’s making me sick to my stomach.

RAGDOLL (off panel): an affliction we share, Catman. I think

it was the lyrics.

PANEL THREE: Deadshot, lighting up a cigarette, his tie and collar undone.

DEADSHOT: All I can say is, them felines are lucky I came


DEADSHOT: One clip cleans an alley, I always say.
PANEL FOUR: Catman, looking puzzled for a an outraged ParaDemon screams towards Deadshot, right behind him (catman).

CATMAN: WHAT did you just say, Lawton?


PARADEMON: Don’t shoot the KITTIES!


CATMAN: Repeat what you just said.

PANEL FIVE: Lawton turns, stone-faced, cigarette dangling.


LAWTON: It was a JOKE, Blake.

PANEL SIX: Blake, close up, squinting a little bit.

BLAKE: Okay.

BLAKE: Sorry.

LAWTON (off-panel): Forget it.


PANEL ONE: The group stands, as Scandal takes her communicator inconspicuously from her handbag as Deadshot watches her, a bit contemptuously.

CATMAN: Come on, we can beat the traffic...

SCANDAL: Just checking in with Mockingbird. Won’t be a


DEADSHOT: Lady, you take to the leash better than any

dog I know.

PANEL TWO: Scandal’s eyes, flashing with anger. ParaDemon and RagDoll are behind her, not paying attention at all.

SCANDAL: You don’t KNOW me, Deadshot. Let’s keep it that


PARADEMON: I’ll eat his LIVER if he shoots the KITTIES.

RAGDOLL: yes, yes, we’ll all eat his liver if he shoots the kitties.

PANEL THREE: Catman turns to the woman with the fur, who just reeks of privilege...

CATMAN: Pardon me, Madam...might I ask if that stole is real?

WOMAN: What a RIDICULOUS question.

WOMAN: Of COURSE it’s re...

PANEL FOUR: Catman smashes the woman in the face with his fist, to Cheshire’s delight.

FX (punch): WHAAMM

PANEL FIVE: Catman, dragging a grinning Cheshire behind him (by the hand). Cheshire’s openly laughing at the woman lying on the sidewalk, unconscious as a grim-faced Catman walks away. ParaDemon, suddenly cheerful, is in the background.

CATMAN: Fur is murder.

CATMAN: Let’s go.

PARADEMON: Let’s see it AGAIN!


PANEL ONE: They walk into a parking garage, again, it’s night. There’s a large black van, that’s where they’re headed. They’re still in their formal outfits, obviously.

CATMAN: You SURE the van’s clean of bugs, Scandal?

SCANDAL: I swept it myself, Catman.

SCANDAL: I guarantee--neither MOCKINGBIRD nor the SOCIETY can hear us.

PANEL TWO: Catman following Cheshire into the van, by the side door. Deadshot grabs Scandal not-quite-gently-enough by the arm, before she can enter.

CATMAN: Good. We have some new BUSINESS to cover.

DEADSHOT: Listen...uh, Scandal.

DEADSHOT: What I said back there--

DEADSHOT: That wasn’t cool. Sorry.

PANEL THREE: Deadshot, looking at her sincerely, but with intent, still holding her arm.

DEADSHOT: I need to SEE you tonight.

SCANDAL: Deadshot...FLOYD.

SCANDAL: I can’t...


DEADSHOT: All right, I said it.

PANEL FOUR: RagDoll is in the driver’s seat, ParaDemon riding shotgun, with Catman and Cheshire in the middle seats, and Deadshot and Scandal behind them.

PARADEMON: I feel a lust in my blood for CHICKEN NUGGETS.

RAGDOLL: as I evacuated during the ‘show,’ I can’t see the harm.

CATMAN: All right, people. We’ve been avoiding the subject.

CATMAN: Knowledge is power. It’s also, occasionally, a hand grenade with the PIN pulled.

PANEL FIVE: Catman’s face, every bit the jungle lord, very serious.

CATMAN: The Society intends to mindwipe every superhero on


CATMAN: The question is--

CATMAN: --what do we DO with that little scrap of intelligence?


  • At 10:33 PM, Blogger ant said…

    This he rejects but somehow me getting shot in BOP slips through??

  • At 12:35 PM, Blogger ShadowJakk said…

    Shooting YoGo is fun and good for you! =)

    And Gail? This is ShadowJakk! =)
    Have you ever considered posting finished scripts online? They would be VERY informative to read!

  • At 10:31 PM, Blogger Franny said…

    "PARADEMON: I’ll eat his LIVER if he shoots the KITTIES.

    RAGDOLL: yes, yes, we’ll all eat his liver if he shoots the kitties."

    This is my new motto.

  • At 12:53 PM, Blogger Stephen Wacker said…

    That was some good editing, right there.



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